An Unexpected Blessing

I'm not going to lie, I'm an emotional wreck. I'm struggling with dealing with things. A lot of things. I hurt. Physically and emotionally. 

I was able to drop my afternoon antihistamines for the past three days. This is a big deal. My immunolgist is hopeful that the Xolair injections will "step up" and take over dealing with some of my reactions. The afternoons have been tolerable and I've even been out to dinner with friends (more on that in a second)! Nights have not been as good. I'm having a rough time sleeping. Tonight is very rough. I'm very swollen, hivey, and pretty miserable and completely regretting choosing blueberry yogurt for dinner. I knew better...but I was hopeful. 

I'm struggling with finding an outlet for my pain and frustration. I have spent quite a lot of time seeing a Christian counselor in the past few years working through a lot of crap. I was just getting to a good place when "the unicorns" decided to show up. I'm at the point of needing help to get through this rough patch. I did get a mini-counseling session with my friends from church last night over some delicious Mexican food at La Parilla. ;) It was so nice to catch up with them and be "normal"! Talking to them helped me realize that I need some time to talk about all this crap and need some guidance on how to process things. To be reminded of how I can trust God and use this challenging time to grow closer to Him. 

Now for the unexpected blessing of the day. It came at one of the most unexpected places - the Obgyn's office. I've been to countless doctor appointments over the past 13 months, but I haven't seen my Obgyn in a year and last saw him right after my initial diagnosis of chronic idiopathic urticaria angiodema. I went to the appointment a little ashamed of how much weight I've gained and didn't really want a speech about choosing the right diet for me and getting more exercise. 

He spent a long time listening to all that I have been through in the past year. He said how sorry he was that I was dealing with this stuff. He asked how I was doing emotionally. I was honest with him. He listened. Not trying to figure out how to "fix" me - my diagnosis isn't anywhere near the stuff he deals with everyday. He was listening to ME. He gave suggestions on some stress relief options - like Starbucks and a good podcast sermon. Then he asked if I'd heard of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I remembered my pastor mentioning him many times in his sermons. Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Feb. 4, 1906 – April, 9. 1945) was a Protestant Lutheran Pastor, theologian, and active in the German resistance to the policies of Hitler and Nazism. My Obgyn proceeded to get out his phone and look up a poem that Bonhoeffer had written. He handed me his phone and as I read it, I was almost brought to tears. Here is that poem:

It's words were powerful. Whatever I struggle with, I am God's child. He has a plan. This is all part of his plans and I pray that He will receive glory through me sharing my story. My heart needed to read these words and be reminded of God's love for me. And the reminder happened in the most unexpected place. 

My Obgyn told me that I am the same person I was a year ago. I may not look the same or feel the same, but I am the same. He has no idea what his kindness and words of encouragement meant to me today. 

You never know how someone's life will be touched by taking an extra few minutes and encouraging someone.