If you're looking for a happy, upbeat post about Christmas, stop reading. Seriously.
This is a post about some anniversaries that occur in these few days surrounding Christmas. Anniversaries that aren't worth celebrating.
Normally, I don't allow these anniversaries creep into my Christmas fun. But with the stupid unicorns and an enormous amount of stress, I've been extra depressed these past few weeks and just can't seem to get in the Christmas spirit.
Today is the anniversary of my Papaw's death. Papaw was my mom's dad. He was a sweet man with a full head of white hair. He was calm and quiet. But funny too! When he spoke, you listened. I was 14 when he passed away. I don't remember a whole lot about that time. I do remember that his funeral was on Christmas Eve. That was tough.
I, however, was no stranger to dealing with death at Christmas. When I was 11, my Grandpa (my dad's dad) died of an aortic aneurism while he was carving the Christmas turkey. Thankfully, I was not there when it happened. Grandpa was the first grandparent that I'd lost. One of the first funerals that I'd attended. Being so young, I didn't understand a lot of what was going on. But, it changed Christmas forever.
Fast forward to when I was 16 and it was the day after Christmas. A life altering event happened. My dad left. He walked away from our family. I'll spare you the ugly details surrounding that time in my life, but it resulted in my parents getting divorced some months later. My life would never be the same.
So, this week leading up to Christmas has a rough history with me. Feeling bad just exacerbates everything. I'm hoping that getting this out will help me to deal with it and hopefully move on and enjoy Christmas.
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